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 Politically  Incorrect Department

We have come to notice that since our days in the military the English language has been changed quite a bit.  The whole idea being to "down play" or disguise bad things.  However they are very REAL things.   In an effort to keep our age group  informed and able to understand the liberal politicians and mass media we offer  the following course in "The New English".

Word or Phrase in the NEW ENGLISH or in other words "Euphemistic Bull Shit"

 WHAT IS REALLY MEANT (DECODED)
or Old and Correct English

ABUSER

Could be anyone from a hopeless skid row drunk to a $1000.00 a day Heroin junkie addict, Child beater or a sexual pervert.

AGGRESSIVE ACCOUNTING

A method of accounting in which 2 + 2 never equals 4, but equals whatever is needed to inflate the stock price.  Used by any business wishing to inflate its stock price and put money in the company CEO's pocket.  AKO Fraud, Cheating, Lying, Stealing  

AGGRESSIVE DRIVING

Reckless driving, Careless driving.  

CAMPAIGN REFORM

Finding a new less visible method for extortion, theft, and bribery.

CUSTOMER SERVICE

Look it up on the Internet yourself.

DEREGULATION

Any once REGULATED industry that served the ENTIRE nation efficiently and inexpensively for many years, that through much "Soft Money" got the rules changed to take away all public control of their needed resource.  So that ultimately only a few remaining companies could make HUGE Profits and give you ZERO (0) service.  Examples are Airlines,  Power Companies, Gas (natural) Companies, and Telephone Companies, 

 

DETAINEES

Hostages

DISPOSABLE INCOME

The $2.98 you have left in your pocket after you have paid for TAXES, food and shelter.

DOWNSIZE

Layoff, Fire, Close plants and offices.

ECOLOGY FRIENDLY PACKAGING

We changed our package to something that is not as good, and is substantially cheaper, however we are going to charge you more and hope to fool you with this expression.

EVENT

(when used in a medical context) Heart attack or any other disastrous happening.

GENDER

Sex (gender used correctly refers to the case of a verb).

GLOBAL  ECONOMY

The exporting of all assembly line, factory, and manufacturing jobs to countries that Do Not have an AAP, ACLU, EPA, IRS, NLRB, OSHA or over one million lawyers.  The normal GLOBAL ECONOMY wages in these countries is about  $00.50 (fifty cents) per Day.

GUIDANCE

Orders

GUN CONTROL

Outlawing all firearms (except for criminals and politicians) and creating many organizations and bureaucracies to make a huge profit on it.

INNER CITY

Ghetto

INVEST

(When used by politicians) Spend More Money Needlessly on something that has never and will never work.

ISSUE

Problem - -  Ever notice when somebody is trying to SELL you something it is never to solve your "ISSUES"  it is to solve your "PROBLEMS".

IT (we donít) DOESNíT SUPPORT THAT

Wonít work with what you bought it for, we didnít design it right, and we donít give a shit that it doesnít work right.

MEDICAL CARE PROVIDER

Use to be a doctor (MD) now its usually a long line and at the end of it there is someone who speaks broken English or speaks no English at all.

MENTALLY CHALLENGED

Dumb

OFFER

When called on the phone (usually at a bad time) and prefaced with "Iím not selling anything and have a offer" trying to peddle you something that is junk, over priced, or a complete sham.

OUTPLACEMENT  FIRM

Employment Office or Company,  Head Hunter.

OUTSOURCE

Lay a lot of employees off and sub-contract the job.

OVER QUALIFIED

We are going to hire a young kid that knows nothing and also pay him nothing but the law says we canít tell you that.

PEACE KEEPING MISSION

War, U.S. soldiers getting killed in a foreign nation about something we have no business getting involved in and masked by the term UN Unilateral Force or some other such crap.

PRE-OWNED

Used, piece of crap

PROCEDURE

(when used in a medical context) Operation

PROGRAM CARS

Used pieces of crap that were rental cars or fleet vehicles and really got beat around.

RECREATIONAL DRUGS

Street drugs, like heroin, cocaine, marijuana, all of which are ILLEGAL.  However since many politicians and prominent public figures have been caught using them, they have become "Recreational  Drugs".

REINVENT

Renaming something that is old and trying to pass it off as a new item or idea.

SALES ASSOCIATE

Clerk, Cashier, or Stock Boy who usually knows or does nothing.

SALES ENGINEER

Peddler

SIGNIFICANT OTHER

Girl you are shacking up with (if you are a female Hunk you are living with).

SOFT MONEY

Legal bribes, however may only be given to politicians.

SPIN DOCTOR

Highly paid liar,  usually found in the employ of politicians or government

SUPPORT

The place on the internet you go to try to find a fix for our faulty product you were fool enough to buy.

TECHNICIAN

Applies to someone who can only sweep the floor,  or to a person that can fix a rocket ship.

UNDER SERVICED AREAS

Ghetto

UNDOCUMENTED   WORKERS

Illegal Aliens

USER FRIENDLY

Might work, without having to hire an engineer.

VALUE

An over inflated price placed on an item to make you think you are getting a bargain. MSRP has the same meaning.

WORK AROUND  

A bailing wire, Hammer, Rubber Band & Scotch Tape method of trying to make something work that was designed wrong in the first place, and should not have been advertised as working or even sold as a finished product.  A synonym for the product that had to use a "Work Around" is JUNK.

The defecation is about to hit the rotary oscillator   The Shit Hit the Fan

 

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